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DISCLAIMER: This transcript is provided on an "as is" best efforts basis and is based on a MiniDisc recording made where speech was not always legible because of noise in the room. Any errors made in transcribing what was actually said are mine, and not those of the speakers quoted, and may include spelling mistakes, incorrect names and other minor typo's. Readers should also bear in mind that statements read in cold print can often convey a completely different meaning from that intended by the speaker and perceived by the original audience.
Marc B Lee: Ladies and Gentlemen, this gentleman you have seen in a number of movies. One of my personal favourites is the Indiana Jones series. But currently he has much the larger role - that of a dwarf by the name of Gimli. So let's put a big Deutchschland welcome to the wonderful, the incredible, the fantastic Mr John Rhys-Davies....
		FX: Applause and standing ovation John Rhys-Davies: Alright. That's enough! Sit down and be quiet! Thank you for that wonderful and generous welcome. Now first of all let's get the important things out of the way first. Girls, I am terribly sorry - I do not have Orlando Bloom's telephone number! But if I did I am malicious enough to give it to you! What would you like to do? Would you like to ask me some questions? You don't want to ask me any questions? Well alright, they were a stinking bunch of little hobbits, and let's get that tattoo thing out of the way first of all. These stinking drunken little hobbits were in a pub in Queenstown one night and they decided we should all have a tattoo. And they decided it should be the Elvish word 'nine'. And they came to me and said 'You have to have this tattoo because there are nine of us in the company and in the Fellowship and there must be nine tattoos. So I did what any sane actor does when faced with a stunt of great danger. I sent my stunt double! And he has the tattoo. You think I'm going to be tattooed by a drunken Maori with a dirty needle? You are insane! So that's one of the usually asked questions out of the way. Does anyone have any questions that they would like to ask me? Question: I was wondering about one thing. Ever since the special edition of the first movie, I'm curious if you could tell me what 'Ish kakui ai durughnul' means? John: That was the German pronounciation. (FX: repeats 'Ish kakui ai durughnul' as spoken by Gimli at Lothlorien). I think freely translated it means 'Why don't you put your unattractive head in a very dark place where doubtless your mother and father created you?'. But as I say that's a very loose translation. Question: I have three questions. And the first question. In the first movie Aragorn punched you in Lorien when you were asleep. How did you feel? John: I slept through it. I was a dwarf! The second question is what did you feel when Legolas said this joke against the dwarf? John: Elves have no sense of humour! Though there are times when they can almost be human. The third question is whose suggestion was 'Don't say it to the elf'? Was this joke from you or Peter Jackson? John: Actually that one was one of mine. But all credit for these things has to go to Peter Jackson who really is, I think at this time, THE great director in the world. You have to have so many strong suits if you're a director, and Peter Jackson has a full palette of all the things that are required to be a director. Peter Jackson built a film industry in New Zealand in order to service this film. There is an enormous organisational skill that he has, an enormous visionary quality that he has, an enormous understanding of the techniques and technical demands of making a film like this. There's a huge man management of people. Between the people who distribute these films and all the organisation we think 25,000 people have been involved in the making of these films. We used to say that anyone in New Zealand who had a driver's licence worked on the film. It's a huge project. And in all that time he led us, he organised us, he maintained his vision. It is a huge accomplishment, I think unparallelled in my lifetime as a piece of film-making. So I hope that The Academy.... I urge you to write to the Academy of Motion Pictures and tell them that they mustn't overlook 'The Lord of the Rings' this time! Although I shall probably be thrown out of the Academy for saying so because we're not meant to solicit for our particular films. That said, it is a tremendous piece of film-making and one of the things that great art does is it makes the possibility of the art expand for other artists. There can be better films made now because of 'Lord of the Rings'. And the difference between a great effects film like 'Lord of the Rings' which has a story behind it, and for instance 'Matrix 3' which really did run out of ideas about three quarters of the way through the first one, is quite astonishing. Anyway, another question! Question: I want to know something about the set Helm's Deep. When you see all the orcs around you did you feel a little bit scared? John: I think that the point of your question is, how influenced are you by the set. I think the truth of the matter is that great costumes and great sets... all those things help the actor. But in truth, the actors themselves - if they're any good - have their own film in their head, have their own world in their head that they can occupy. Thus you can get very good performances from people who are entirely in a studio surrounded by a blue screen. The only problem with blue screen or green screen is that it's very depressing. Friends of mine who worked for instance on the last couple of 'Star Wars' remarked how very depressed by the end of the week you became. It's just one of those psychological things that you need a full spectrum of light and colour to live normally. I know that the times I've spent in blue screen - at the end of the day I've almost been staggering because when you only have one colour and you have that backdrop here, just that colour all the time, you can't actually guage distances after a time. It's a peculiar thing. So, to answer your question, we were impressed by Helm's Deep but not scared! Question: I've got a question about the extended edition. In the interview you told us something about the boat situation. How the blame was placed on the dwarf, and I'd like to ask you to say that again if it's possible. John: Well, I... I... I don't want to cast the blame on anybody, but I would point out to a certain pointy-eared person who isn't here at the moment that when we were in training and the boat collapsed, the dwarf got the blame. The dwarf and the elf in the boat. Boat collapses. Elf completely ungraciously blames the dwarf! The dwarf, with his natural humility, forbearance, wisdom, maturity and understanding... overlooked the cavalier treatment by the elf. But it did occur to him some months later when the elf was in a boat with someone else and the boat capsized again that maybe it wasn't the bloody dwarf's fault! All I'm saying is this: Be very, very careful if you're ever invited to go sailing with an elf! Question: I hope you recovered well from the accident last year which you had. And I have a question about the next sequel to Indiana Jones. Are you going to be in it? John: Well first of all, thank you for your good wishes. I am sort of recovered. I still have a rather aching arm and I still have a somewhat screwed-up back, but I'm doing OK. I'm just actually very grateful I'm able to walk at all, so it's a good thing. As for the Indiana Jones sequel, you know there are stories about the sequel that go round about every four or five years and people keep coming up to me and saying 'Oh, I hear Harrison's in it, and Sean Connery's in it and I hear Mathew McConnaughy's in it and Sean Penn - but they're going to die in the first one because they're making three of them you know' and I listen and I get very depressed by all of this because noone's asked me to be in the next one. I was somewhat delighted the other day when someone asked Sean Connery the same thing and he actually got up and said 'Well actually my phone hasn't rung and nobody's asked me to be in the next one'. The truth is it's dependent on three very important people in the film world: Harrison Ford, George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. These are not men who are now out to make money from the next picture regardless of everything else - they're well past that! What they're interested in is making another wonderful chapter in the history of film-making, which means that script no. 4 has to be better than any of the others that have gone before. Added to which, the Steven Spielberg who in his youthful enthusiasm created 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' is now the more mature and august film-maker who's also made 'Schindler's List' and (indecipherable). That's a different sensibility. So every few years a script comes up and one person loves it and passes it on to another and they say 'You know, I don't like this as much as the last one and I don't want to do it'. So it passes between the three of them and until there is an agreement that will actually give you an Indiana Jones that is better than 1, 2 and 3 it won't get made. Now my bet is that one day there will be more Indiana Jones films. I have absolutely no authority for saying this, it's just purely a private reflection. My bet is that one day there will be a different Indiana Jones, an entirely different cast and probably an entirely different director, but that day isn't quite there yet. And whether that will happen I don't really know, but don't hold your breath! It may well happen in 2005. As I recall last year we were saying 'It's definitely happening in 2004'. And I now hear it's definitely going to happen in 2005. But I don't hear that being said by anyone who's really commited to it. But when it comes, if it comes, it'll be a great picture, that's for sure! Question: My question is: in some of the interviews Dominic Monaghan and other hobbits... John: (as Gimli) Bloody little hobbits, yes! What have those trouble-makers been saying now? Question: .. they make some really bad jokes about you and them in a restaurant, so my question is have you ever wished after you heard that, that you had left them alone with the bill and just run away? John: You have to understand that some of them were very young when we first started, and hadn't done a lot of dining out. When you have 11 or 12 or 15 or 18 people in a party in a restaurant if you wait for everyone to ask 'What's onion baji? Do I want? No I think I'll go for.. What's vindeloo?' you could be there for several weeks. So I acted like the bossy dwarf and said 'Give me the damn menu. We'll have six of these, seven of those. These are quite mild. These are quite fierce. We'll have some nan bread. Let's have some samosa's.' So we got it done, you know. We did have a feast and yes, there was some stuff left over, but then as I recall those little hobbits took it away and ate it later. You can't overfeed a hobbit! Or overdrink them either! Question: So my second question is after those lobsters got so famous, were they good? John: Fabulous! The cray fish in New Zealand are absolutely wonderful. I urge you all to go to New Zealand and visit it. It's a wonderful place and they are wonderful people. They will make you very welcome. Just don't mention Australian Rugby to them, right at the moment. Question: I've got two points I want to make. The first is about Peter Jackson. There was a poll taken by film critics in 'The Guardian' last week about the Top 40 living film directors and Peter Jackson wasn't amongst them which I thought was scandalous, and just sums up film critics and 'The Guardian'. I don't know if you've heard this at all? John: The last time I read 'The Guardian' I can almost pinpoint the date, let me see, it was the Summer of 1976. I was sitting on a train reading 'The Guardian' review of that wonderful... well I realised it was about that wonderful dancer Lyn Seymour, who was an extraordinary, marvellous dancer and I was just puzzled as I started to read this damned thing. I thought 'What the hell is this?! This must be somebody I've never heard of'. And then I realised that the entire review which was meant to be about Lyn Seymour actually was describing her as Len Seymour. Len is a male name, Lyn is a very feminine lady. 'The Guardian', God bless it, I mean come on... it's not even a serious comic. You'll get more up-to-date and accurate and honest reporting of world news in the Lord of the Rings fan club magazine! Far more up-to-date and worthwhile! Critics are a pretty perverse lot by-and-large anyway, because they get so precious. I remember a very fine director - Jonathan Miller. He'd just finished directing Laurence Olivier at The National Theatre. He was directing us in a production of 'The Tempest' at 'The Mermaid'. This Sunday newspaper published this notice and it referred to him. It said 'Poor Jonathan Miller. The only one of the 'Beyond the Fringe' team who could never grow up'. This is a man who was a doctor anyway, was teaching the history of medecine at University College, directing opera, directing some of the leading actors of the day in some remarkable productions and this condescending little shit could write of him like that! I said to Jonathan 'How do you respond to something like this?' and he said to me 'John, when you're nobody it is in the interests of the critics to make something of you because they have discovered you and they can own you. Once you're above the horizon the only mileage is in knocking you back down.' Pay no attention. The real survivors are the ones who do survive long enough, the real ones are the people who are not just here for five years or something like that, but are there for a lifetime and Peter Jackson is, in the estimate of most of the directors that I know, certainly is more of a champion amongst their class. He's major. He's significant. Who cares about 'The Guardian'? Continued over the page Forward to page 2 of This transcript Ring*Con 2003 Reports and Panel Transcripts Main Index
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