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BACKGROUND: The original Weblog report has apparently caused some distress on one or two of the 'teen' newsgroups and boards. I like to keep all fans happy, and so the following 'alternative report' is hopefully more in keeping with what they, and apparently the organisers, like to read :-) Enjoy! ;-) Over to Heidi....
Cathy and I arrived at Colectormania in Milton Keynes to find it really busy, even with none of the hobits their. But we got to speak to 'The Dark Lord' himself - Salad Baker with his shades and baseball cap - and he was soooooo cool. He is just the greatest! He was so nice that I took some pictures even though I meant to save all my film for 'Lij! Lucky for us that Colectormania is in a big shoping area so I could buy another film, LOL! Salad was really interested in my scrapbook of pictures of 'Lij that I showed him and said he was a cool guy to work with and how sometimes he sat near him for lunch and stuff when they made the movies. Cool! He was wicked, and much nicer than the bad guy he plays in the movie! Salad was so nice that we were already glad we'd come down by train. Colectormania rocks! Although we liked Salad we didn't have time to wait to see his friends Lawrence and Brent who are also in the movies. Anyway they are in costumes so it could be anybody really, LOL!!!! We had to leave because we needed to see where 'Lij and Dom and the rest of the hobits would be tommorow. We were so excited getting to meet Sean (Sam!!! LOL!), and Dom (who's quite swoonsome and Lij's best mate!)and of course our Sex God, LOL,..... Elijah!!! We found the bit where 'Lij will actualy sit to sign autographs!!!! It was very quiet so I got to lie on the desk where His Godliness himself would be writing his autographs!!!!! I got Cathy to take my picture of me kissing where 'Lijahs' bum and other rude bits might be, LOL!!!!!! We met some other girls from Glasgow who joined in and we got quite giggley. It was very silly, but great fun!! If only he knew what we were like he would run a mile (but not really 'cos he's so sweet!), LOL! We started queuing for the movie panel at 11am to make sure we got good seats, but some annoying American people had got their before us. I think I may have recognised some of them from when mum took us to Chicago and I met 'Lij for the first time. They kept going on about how British people were unfriendly and then had the cheek to try to talk to us and pretend they liked us!!! We ignored them at first but then they showed us there pictures of 'Lij and seemed quite nice so we forgave them for being American as Elijah himself is from America. They were quite nice, but a bit loud. But not as loud as us when we see Elijah, LOL!!!! We had a long wait but Cathy and I used the time to write a song for Elijah that we want to sing to him when we meet him tomorrow. It goes like this. "First verse: 'Lijah, 'Lijah, 'Lijah. Second verse:'Lijah, 'Lijah, 'Lijah. Third verse: 'Lijah, 'Lijah, 'Lijah. 'Lijah, Fourth verse: 'Lijah, 'Lijah. Chorus: You're our sex god. Eeeeelijaaaaaah!" (its better when we sing it, LOL!). All the staff were wicked and really friendly to us except a horid woman who tried to stop Cathy when she came back from the toilet because she thought she was pushing in. The girl in front of us said she'd heard Jason, who is in charge of everything, on the phone saying Orlando (swoooooooooon! LOL!) would be at the panel. Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! We spoke to Jason the next day and he was realy friendly. We went to see him after Orlando didn't show up although some silly girls were saying he'd been their in disguise, and he told us that they were definitely going to get Orlando and Viggo at Colectormania 5. We asked to buy our tickets their and then but he said we couldn't, LOL!!!!! He wouldn't tell us which hotel our boys were in either. Spoilsport, LOL!!!! We told Jason about our new web site that we're making because next time we want a press pass to meet 'Lij and Orly up close and personal (if only they knew how 'personal' we'd like to get, LOL!). Its going to be on yahoo with a long name full of squigles but is going to be dedicated to 'Lij and have lots of pictures and stuff that Cathy says we can just find on the web. She says if we have a web site we get to go to the special press areas where we can talk to Elijah and Orly without other pesky girls like some of those more annoying American people getting in the way. Anyway, I wanted to call our web site ElijahIsASexGod.com, LOL, but Cathy says we don't have enough money to buy that. So we have to have a funny address with lots of squigly bits in it! Cathy is learning something called HTML to design it which is hard work but I think it will be worth it with all the press passes we will get. We got good seats for the panel in the cinema. The girl next to me was boasting about how she was Elijah's biggest fan, but she has only seen the movie 72 times so she is not a real fan like me and Cathy, LOL!!!!! Me and Cathy have seen it over 128 times, probably 200 times if you count all the times we fast-forwarded to all those "'Lij with his 'having an orgasm' look on his face as he fights not to put on the Ring" bits, LOL! After what seemed forever the announcer, who was quite cute for an old guy, said we had two special guests... and out stepped Elijah and Sean. Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! 'Lij was just so adorable and had the cutest new hair cut. Like a Mohican but way, way cooler! He waved to me when I asked a question!!!!! Can you beleive that??!!! He must have remembered our hug when I met him in Chicago and dropped my pen, and he picked it up for me. How sweet is it for him to remember a little thing like that?! Cathy got quite carried away and screamed and screamed and screamed. I was a bit embaressed to be honest, but nearly joined in just because he is so cute. And Sean. He is just adorabal. When I met him on Sunday I queued for two hours and he smiled when I told him and said 'Thank you for coming'. Imagine that! My Sam thanking ME for coming to see him! My knees went all wobbly, even if he is a bit old for me. But I haven't told you the best bit! He remembered me!!!!!! From Chicago!!!! I asked him if he remembered the little gift I had given him. In Chicago I gave him a framed photo of Sammy, my tortoise. Mum took a picture of Sammy wearing a little thing she knitted with little pots and pans attached and I spent two weeks pocket money on a special frame for the photo 'cos I knew he'd like it. We real fans have to let the cast know how much we appresiate them! Anyway, I mentioned Sammy my tortoise and Sean remembered him!!!! Cathy said that he said he had the photo in his house!!!!!How cool is that? I was so excited I forgot hearing him say that bit! But he is just so nice and thoughtfull he is almost up their with 'Lij on Sex God status. He will make a wonderfull president instead of that boring old Mr Bush who just wants to go to war all the time. I took lots of photos because they said we could only do it for 5 minutes, but that annoying grumpy old person from that web site that does reports complaining all the time ruined all my photo's! His flash was too bright and made my pictures come out all blurred. We only go to his web site to steal his pictures, which are not that good anyway. I don't know why they give him a press pass when he misses all the best bits like when, 20 minutes later, Elijah kept showing us his tattoo and appendix scars. When Cathy saw the scars she said she wouldn't mind kissing them better, LOL!!!!!! I can't remember much about the panel except that it was fantastic and 'Lij smiled all the time and was just so great. This was definitely the best time of my entire life. I remember 'Lij was quite naughty and made us laugh about his 'nocturnal emissions'. Cathy said he wouldn't have those if he had a proper girlfriend like us 'cos we'd keep him awake all night so he couldn't sleep, LOL!!!! After the panel we watched the movie. Cathy and I knew all the lines and we all had great fun shouting them out before the actors to show who the real fans were. It was like a big party of fans!!!! It was totally brilliant!!!!!! On Sunday we started queueing at 5 o'clock. It was cold but worth it because we got tickets - I got ticket number 247 - go me! LOL! We waited around and saw 'Lij go to 'the men's room' a few times and it was really funny as we all screamed and he clowned around. He is so funny! When it got to my turn to actually get his autograph I just couldn't think what to say so I just gave him the bag of presents I bought him. He was so sweet, trying to put me at my ease. He said he was looking forward to listening to the CD of 'British' music with Boyzone I had put in the bag, and he especially liked the little paper doll I had made of him, even if I did mess up the face so it didn't really look like him. 'Its so cute', he said and smiled at me with THOSE eyes!!! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod!!!! LOL! We had to leave later because I have school tomorrow - Mum won't let me skive off - but it was SO worth going. We had the best possible time of our lives and I just can't believe how Sean remembered me!!!! I spent a lot of money on autographs but it was worth it!!! I can't wait for Colectormania 5 because Colectormania 4 was totally awesome - no matter what that grumpy old git who's putting this report on his web site says!!! Cathy says our own web site will be ready soon, thank goodness!!!		My photo of 'Lij (a bit blurry, LOL!) Here are some other pictures Cathy and me found on the web:
Don't forget you can check out reports of lots of other Lord of the Rings -themed events in the Web Logs section

Email: ian@iansmith.co.uk