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"'Cheater' is actually a Maori word meaning 'Great Warrior'" - Craig Parker (Haldir)
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The inevitable result of this reporting process is that
sometimes the memory can play tricks on you and you end up (as in the headline quotes above) paraphrasing rather than directly
quoting what was said. A side-effect of this inability to take notes is that I have received several emails wanting to
correct "facts" in the previous reports.
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Some emails have been unintentionally hilarious - I particularly liked the one saying
I should "check facts. Are you even a native speaker?" (this from a woman who thinks elves and hobbits are real
and that paraphrasing this on a web site is "illegal"!). One notable error was misquoting Cameron on the Figwit
issue (corrected on Wednesday after a friend on the TORn discussion board alerted me to the error) -
so with that now sorted out I am pretty confident that what is reported here now is factually correct.
To deal with some specific objections: Sarah may well have said that hobbit women didn't shave their legs (the opposite of what I reported) at one panel, but several of us are pretty certain that at a second panel she said the exact opposite :-P. I am happy to correct a point about the organisers which contradicts what I had been told: of the two non-FedCon organisers only one is from the German Tolkien Society, the other guy is famous in Germany for running the excellent German movie site at www.herr-der-ringe-film.de. A couple of people have also taken umbrage at my repeating comments I'd overheard from some people unhappy with the organisation for non-German speakers. While it's sad to hear that the organisers lost money on the event, and that they worked so hard on the event for 6 months, it would be dishonest of me not to report what I saw and heard! This is a web site where I express my opinions - if you don't like them please don't read them - check out the far less opinionated reports elsewhere (including my own more objective report in a forthcoming issue of The Official Movie Fan Club magazine). That being said, it IS important for me to emphasise that the problems were relatively minor, and are, of course, to be expected for a first event. Overall the event was an incredible success - none of which means the organisers shouldn't be encouraged to make things even better next time! Most emails have been extremely complimentary (thank you!) or been emails asking for printed copies of photo's of Craig Parker (sorry! I'm not a free gift shop - I'm a fan just like everyone else and just don't have the time or the money to deal with all the requests I've received)! My comments on the poor quality of many of the questions addressed to the convention guests probably drew most comment. While most agree about how embarrassing some of these were, one reader rightly pointed out that the highlights of the convention were often those where the guests really rose to the challenge of dealing with a banal question. I think that expecting every actor to "rise to the challenge" by being a witty, quick-reacting comedian is unfair - we got very lucky this year that the guests were able to do this and provide such a fantastic weekend. But I accept that yes, these questions did result in what were undoubtedly, the highlights of this year's convention (together with the opening ceremony show). Moving swiftly on, the last day saw a panel from Cameron Rhodes (see previous report for words, this page for some pictures) which was followed by the first panel with Craig and Mark performing together. We had high expectations for this, having seen the two of them individually handle panels that could have been stand-up comic routines. We were not disappointed! I didn't take notes (I was too busy laughing AND taking photo's - not a good combination if you want sharp pictures!) but here are some random thoughts from what I do remember.... There was much trying to outdo each other's "knowledge of German" with some hilarious bluffing and challenging going on between the pair, which the audience clearly loved. These guys had done their homework! The person who'd lost the battle game with Craig was in the hall and challenged Craig over his implying he was a "cheater" at the previous day's panel. Parker deftly tried to explain that "cheater" was actually a Maori term meaning "great warrior". At which point Ferguson said he had another Maori word to describe Parker: "wanker"! Alas, the demanding female fan contingent were out in full force, asking why the duo hadn't shown up for their parties or breakfast as they'd promised. "I starved for you" said one fan to Mark Ferguson, at which point he got out his video camera and asked her to repeat the claim so that he could show his mates back home how devoted his fans were. It was all funny stuff, although I STILL haven't worked out if such fans are serious in expecting celebrities to hang out everywhere with them, hand over half their posessions etc or were just having a bit of fun with them! There were some amusing moments when one fan asked for something from Craig for her brother while a girl asked for something from Mike. Ferguson proceeded to milk it for all it was worth, winding up Parker throughout the panel about how he was detecting a trend with brothers being interested in Craig and girls being interested in him. Parker got his own back though when a fan asked the two actors to reenact the Aragorn and Arwen love scene - grabbing a chair from the front row to make himself taller and insisting that Ferguson had to play the female part. There was lots of comedy here, with references to having to marry the daughters of rock stars and the two hamming it up, refusing to worry about looking silly. You had to be there, but it was undoubtedly a convention highlight for the audience. Classic stuff! Ferguson was right on the ball again, when a fan asked "Who would you choose to play a parody of Haldir's scene?". Quick as a flash he replied "Craig Parker". Parker then went on to suggest Mr Bean for his part, with Ferguson suggesting Lucy Lawless (my notes are confused here so this might have been an answer to a different question, not really sure!) The subject of boxers or briefs came up. The pair pretended to look a bit shocked at the impertinence of the question and so the fan mentioned Karl Urban's recent display of his boxers at a Xena convention. "Ah well. If Karl had a personality he wouldn't have to do that", quipped Ferguson (it was a joke, so Karl Urban fans please don't email me!) On a more serious note the pair talked about how much they'd enjoyed this convention, their first, with Mark adding "Fans of the film/book are probably a bit more intelligent than those of some other books". Mark went on to talk about all the cut Gil-galad scenes, about how there are pictures on cards but that the scenes aren't on the extended DVD but may surface some day, and going on to explain how he spent three days attached to a crane, being thrown around a Wellington car park whilst simultaneously being throttled by a metal hand. Apparently on his first take he blacked out! Craig was asked why he looked so unshaven as an elf and explained that it was "Testosterone", before acknowledging that with make-up starting at 3am and scenes often shot at midday it was hard to stay totally clean-shaven. Asked how he died in the next movie he explained that he hadn't seen the final cut, but that "I've died on stage many times! I die a good death!". At the end of the panel it was time for the closing ceremony, effectively a reprise of the opening show, with one difference. A girl was called on stage and a wraith proposed marriage to her (at least, since it was in German, we're guessing that's what happened!). The finance director for the event came on stage and apparently announced that Warner Brothers would be licensing the conference - confirmation, if any were needed, that this first European convention was a huge success. With cards for attendees to fill in for a DVD or video of the convention, it seemed it was time to leave, with just a quick photocall of all the staff involved in the event taking place before we all left. My thanks to all those pictured below, and in particular Thomas Ahlborn (Presseburo Brandau) for briefing me before the convention, Marc B Lee (FedCon) Stefan Servos (herr-der-ringe-film.de) and Marcel Bulles (German Tolkien Society) for their hard work, professionalism and sheer determination to pull the whole thing off (you succeeded guys! Thank you!), but perhaps most importantly of all the special guests Brad Dourif, Mark Ferguson, Sarah McLeod, Craig Parker and Cameron Rhodes, who really made this convention a happening event and left the audience departing with a buzz that for most of us took several days to wear off. Here's to next year! |
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| Email: ian@iansmith.co.uk |